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Episode #4

Rejected? Do This Instead — 4 Steps to Turn No Into Yes

Jeri Toliver

Last Updated: Feb 17, 2026

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Hey! I'm Jeri!

I'm a financial educator and speaker known for simplifying complex credit and funding strategies. I've helped thousands of individuals and small business owners get the credit they deserve.

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Summary

Fear of rejection might be the #1 thing stopping you from building the credit, funding, and financial life you deserve. In this episode, Jeri Toliver gets personal about her own journey through rejection — from being scammed out of $800, to getting denied for a home loan, to building Smart Credit Coach — and shares the mindset shifts that changed everything.

If you've ever not applied for that credit card, not pitched your business, or not asked the question you really needed to ask — all because you were afraid of hearing "no" — this episode is for you. Jeri walks through four practical steps to reduce rejection's power and start turning setbacks into setups for success.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- Why rejection is actually a sign you're doing something right
- How to stop pre-rejecting yourself before anyone else gets the chance
- The importance of normalizing low acceptance rates (think 10%, not 50%)
- Why preparation is the antidote to fear
- How to detach from outcomes so rejection stops feeling personal

A "no" is never a period — it's a comma. Something always comes after it.

Chapters

0:30 — Why we avoid rejection and what it's really costing us
2:40 — Jeri's personal story: scammed, denied, and starting over
5:45 — Tip #1: Don't take it personally
9:30 — Tip #2: Stop pre-rejecting yourself
15:20 — Tip #3: Stay ready and plan for success
19:15 — Tip #4: Detach from the outcome

Transcript

Welcome to the Smart Credit Experience, the place where financial clarity, strategy, and transformation begin. I'm your host, Jeri Toliver, CEO of Smart Credit Solutions and the creator of the Smart Credit Method. Every week, I break down the truth about credit, funding, and building a financially abundant life and business. So if you're ready to learn what lenders actually look for, how to build a fundable business, and how to move forward with confidence and clarity, you're in the right place.

Have you ever not sent the email, not posted the video, not applied for that credit card or loan, or not asked the questions that you really needed to ask to get the answers that you needed — and not because you weren't able to do it, but because you just didn't want to get rejected?

Well, today we're going to be talking about that, because I understand rejection doesn't just sting a little bit. Sometimes it really feels personal and exposing, and it makes you question your worth. I want to help you redevelop your relationship with that.

On today's episode, we're not talking about avoiding rejection — we're actually just going to talk about reducing its power. I'm going to walk you through four practical steps today, and I'm going to give you some psychological shifts that will help you completely change how you experience the word "no." And this is in business, this is in your finances, this is in relationships, and in your growth.

Because the reality of it is this: people that win do not avoid rejection. Instead, they just have a different relationship with it. So I'm going to give y'all four tips today to help you with turning setbacks and rejections into setups for success.

Getting denied for anything — for credit, for loans, for opportunities — I understand that it doesn't feel good, but I want you to reframe that way of thinking from "It doesn't feel good" to "I'm trying." Because when you really think about it, the only time you can ever feel this feeling of rejection is when you try, when you make an effort at something.

The people that are not making an effort at anything, and are too busy thinking about it or talking about it, they're not experiencing rejection because they're not putting themselves out there to get rejected.

I remember a moment in my life where I was trying to overcome the feeling of rejection and wanting to avoid rejection. I had just gotten into the credit space after I had gotten scammed out of $800 to repair my credit. I had learned later that I could repair my own credit, and so I did. But as I was repairing my credit, it was a stressful process because I was getting rejected over and over again. I was sending letters to get collections off my credit reports, and the credit bureaus were telling me that it wasn't going to go anywhere and they weren't going to remove it. I was trying to negotiate with creditors, and they weren't really working with me. I had hired somebody to help me with it, and he took my money and ran.

So I felt like I was just experiencing rejection after rejection after rejection. I was trying to buy a house, and I just felt like nothing was really going the right way. And it sucked. It really, really sucked.

But I realized that that rejection was really my protection, because in all honesty, what I thought I wanted and needed — I just wasn't ready for it then anyway. I wasn't ready for the yeses, point blank, period. And if I wanted to get the yeses, I needed to do something different, which was stop avoiding rejection.

I don't know if you've ever tried to go get a house or a car or a credit card or a new relationship or a new opportunity, and you get rejected for it. Most people that I know have been rejected for many things in their life. But what has that done for you? Has that helped you grow into somebody that doesn't fear it, or has it helped you grow into somebody that avoids it?

The reason I've been thinking about this is because I saw on social media recently the idea of a rejection challenge. There are people out here that are committing to getting rejected more than they've ever been in their life. And I thought it was really cool because while most people are trying to avoid rejection, they are barking up the wrong tree. Instead, it's important to understand how to reduce it.

So I want to give y'all four steps and practical ideas that you can take with you today to help you reframe your idea around rejection and to maybe even open up the possibility of you taking on the rejection challenge and being okay with it after all.

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**Tip #1: Don't Take It Personally**

The first tip is, if you really want to reduce the effects of rejection, you've got to not take it personally. Now, this might be a little difficult because it's hard not to take it personally. But I read this book once called The Four Agreements, written by an author named Miguel Ruiz, and it was without a doubt one of the best books I've ever read in my life.

The Four Agreements are really principles that you live your life by. The first agreement was be impeccable with your word — say what you mean, mean what you say. Two was don't take anything personally. Three, don't make assumptions. And four, always do your best.

I read this book when I was in my mid-twenties, and I just celebrated a birthday — I just turned 39! And I still carry these principles to this day. In fact, I teach my children these same principles because they have served me so well in my life.

I want to focus on number two: don't take anything personally. Why? Because nothing that anybody does really has anything to do with you. When I realized that, it really just shifted my way of thinking about so much. When you realize that what people do, the decisions that are made, the opportunities that are presented or not offered to you — when you realize that many of those outcomes you can't control anyway — you realize that you're putting yourself in a position to suffer willfully. You're willingly putting yourself in a position to suffer when you take the opinions and choices of others and make it about you.

We have all seen situations where people that have been rejected still ended up being on top later. Oprah Winfrey — when she first started, people were telling her she wasn't fit for TV. But she built an empire. She built a network when people told her, "This isn't for you. That wouldn't work for you." Michael Jordan was cut from his high school varsity team, and he still became one of the best basketball players to ever live.

They didn't take the rejection personally. Instead, they used it as power to fuel themselves to do more in their life. So if you've ever been rejected for anything — for opportunities, for jobs, for loans, credit cards, grants — it's a part of the process. It's part of taking the steps. It's part of putting yourself out there. It's just part of the journey, and you've got to accept it and almost really normalize it.

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**Tip #2: Stop Pre-Rejecting Yourself**

My second tip is to stop pre-rejecting yourself. I've seen this time and time again where people don't apply for the loan or the credit card, don't pitch the business to an investor, don't post the videos, don't post anything to promote their businesses, stop asking for sales, stop asking for opportunities. All you're doing is avoiding rejection at that point. You're stopping the momentum of your progress, and to be honest, it doesn't even reduce rejections — it just increases your regret.

It puts you at a standstill. You put yourself in a position where you can't grow and you can't become better because you stop the movement process. You stop doing your best.

You've got to show up if you want to turn no's into yes's. No's are normally not a no, period — they're normally a no, comma. Something comes after it. So don't pre-reject yourself. Don't shut your own self down. Instead, normalize the fact that you're going to get rejected.

My mentor told me once to normalize rejection and also to normalize low acceptance rates. If you're expecting 50% of applications you put in to be accepted, or expecting nine out of ten people you talk to about your business to hire you, you're setting yourself up for failure. Instead, normalize low acceptance rates — more like 10%. Normalize 10% of applications getting accepted. Normalize 10% of clients deciding to work with you. It's very minimal, but it gives you a baseline.

Because what happens is, as you get more skilled, as you get better, you get more yeses. My mentor gave me this great tip: make up in numbers what you lack in skill. That means you're going to have to cover more ground. You're going to have to build more stamina for hearing the word no by getting more repetitions in. At that point, rejection doesn't feel like a shock to your body.

When people are telling you no, or "you're not qualified right now," or "now is not the right time" — sometimes you get a jolt to your body and you feel like, "Man, is this ever going to happen for me? Am I not enough?" So normalize it. Normalize the fact that you are going to get rejected, especially when you're unskilled.

As you get more repetitions in, you're going to get more yeses. And as you get more yeses, you are able to collect data to see what made these people say yes — and then you can keep repeating that. Before you know it, you're getting more acceptances, you're getting more yeses, and you're building more momentum.

If you're getting nos and getting rejected, don't blame the people rejecting you. Instead, look at yourself and ask, "Can I change my approach? Is there something else I could say or do to get more yeses?" And if so, just do that over and over again.

When I first got into business, out of every ten people I talked to about my business, about one or two would say they wanted to do business with me — that's 10 to 20%. But now when I talk to people, I'm able to get about a 50 to 60% acceptance rate. I still get people that say no, and I've been in business for over ten years. I still hear the word no. So I don't avoid it. I accept it, and I welcome it — so that I can ask, "Well, why did you say no? Maybe we can turn that no into a yes." Because you're just collecting data.

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**Tip #3: Stay Ready and Plan for Success**

Tip number three is about being ready and planning, because sometimes we get rejected because we're just not approaching it the right way. Many times we're just winging it. You want to stay ready so that you don't feel bad about yourself.

Many times we're pre-rejecting ourselves and thinking, "We're not going to get approved anyway" — because we're not preparing to get approved. We're not ready to get approved.

This really boils down to preparation. When you want to buy a house, do you just go to a lender and say, "Hey, help me buy a house," or do you prepare? I made that mistake. When I bought my first house, I kind of stumbled upon the process by mistake. I was told, "Go buy a house for you and your kids — first step to wealth." I contacted a real estate agent, she took me out to see houses, I found one I loved, and she said, "Go see my lender for a pre-approval." I went to get the pre-approval and got rejected. My credit was bad. I didn't know it was smarter to get a pre-approval before you go shopping for a house. I was just ignorant to that process. But I only learned it because I got rejected for what I thought I wanted and was ready for.

It's really about getting in the know and planning out your success, because when you fail to plan, you're really planning to fail.

I talk to so many people who come to me and say, "I want to repair my credit," or "I want to build my scores," or "I want to build a business using business credit." Wonderful things they want to do. But when we get into a strategy session and I ask, "Where are you currently?" — many people are not close to what they say they want. In fact, many people don't even know what they want.

I ask people, "How much money do you want?" and they say, "As much as I can get." That tells me you don't know what you want — you don't even have a number. When you know what you want, you're specific. You say things like, "I want to buy a house in the next year. I want to repair my credit in 90 days. I want to walk away from my full-time job in the next two years. I want to spend more time with my family and take at least two vacations a year." These are very specific goals.

You've got to be ready for what you say you want. Stay ready for what you say you want, because when you're ready, you don't pre-reject yourself. When you're ready, you show up with confidence. When you're ready, you know the client is going to say yes.

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**Tip #4: Detach from the Outcome**

My fourth and final tip — and probably the hardest one — is you're going to have to detach yourself from the outcome. I'll be honest: I've been told this is one of my superpowers. It's something that comes to me naturally. But you've got to detach yourself from an outcome.

I understand that rejection hurts, but it hurts the most when you attach an outcome to who you are. Many times when this is happening, we may not even realize it, but it sounds like very specific scripts. It sounds like, "I'm not good enough." Or when something bad is happening in life, it sounds like, "Why is this happening to me? Am I not enough?"

I want you to know this: you can be talented, you can be attractive, you can be qualified, you can be skilled — and still not be a good fit for something. I said that twice because it's really easy to think that we are entitled to things we're not ready for, and it's also incredibly easy to believe that if we don't get what we feel we're entitled to, there's something wrong with us. And that's not the case.

Many times it's just timing. It could be that you're just not qualified right now, but you can be in the future. It could be that you made one small mistake that you could easily fix. There are so many reasons for getting rejected, but understanding the reason is the very first step.

Control what you can control, because the only thing you can truly control is yourself. Don't attach outcomes to who you are and your character. Because when you do that, you set yourself up to never try again — and it makes you feel really bad.

Remember this: you are good enough. You're enough. It's just the outcome right now, but things can change. A no is not a no, period — it's a no, comma. Things can change.

I once heard Kerry Washington talk about the idea of rejection. She said you pray to catch the bus, and then you run as fast as you can. You don't pray to catch the bus and then stroll down the street. You've got to pray and then run as fast as you can, because if you miss it, it wasn't your bus. But if you're strolling and you miss it — that could've been your bus, and you missed it because you were too casual about it.

You've got to do your best by putting in that prayer and running as fast as you can, putting in the work, giving it your best effort — because at least you'll know that you tried and gave it your best shot. It's when we put in that half-effort and we're really not trying that it kills your momentum, your confidence, and your motivation around what you're trying to build.

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If you're really trying to become better, to grow, to succeed — just remember that rejection is sometimes your protection, and sometimes it's just a setup for you to still succeed. You just have to think about it differently. Change your relationship to the word "no."

And if you're trying to change your relationship with rejection around building your business, getting funding or credit, or just improving your financial circumstances, I invite you to join us at Smart Credit Coach. We'd be more than happy to help you get the credit you deserve by helping you understand how to repair your credit, build your scores, establish business credit, gain funding, and learn how to manage your money the smart way.

I'm so grateful y'all joined me today. As a recap:

1. Don't take it personally.
2. Stop pre-rejecting yourself.
3. Stay ready and plan for success.
4. Detach from the outcome.

Thank you so much for joining me for today's episode of the Smart Credit Experience. I'm your friend, Jeri Toliver, CEO of Smart Credit Coach — and I will see y'all next time.